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What is Natural Family Living? by Peggy O'mara, Mothering Magazine

Trust your body. Trust your baby. Trust yourself.
Natural family living appreciates that the first three to five years of life are a critical period for developing
trust, empathy, dependency, and optimism.  Natural family living views pregnancy and birth as normal
bodily processes, not disease states. Therefore, interventions are avoided during pregnancy in favor of
human interaction and birth is seen as a normal event that does not require drugs or intervention. Birth is
not perceived this way because women who embrace the natural way are more heroic or tolerant of pain. It
is perceived this way simply because a drug-free mother and baby have distinct advantages. A mother
avails herself of an ecstatic birth chemistry that unlocks a dormant, instinctual maternal intelligence; a
baby begins life without having imprinted on drugs and awake enough to successfully breastfeed.  

Breastfeeding is an obvious expression of natural family living. One can trust that human milk is the best
food for a baby. One can trust, too, that a baby will wean in his or her own time. This is easier said than
done in a culture where the vast majority of babies don’t nurse past six months, but it gets easier with
subsequent babies to rely on this trust. And again—like birth, natural family living is not about rules but
about a way to see the world. It is about learning to trust in our own inherent wisdom and the wisdom of
our babies.

One basic and important idea is that of simply holding our babies. For humans, touch is a nutrient that is
necessary for full human development. Babies’ brains are stimulated by the kind of rhythmic movement
and physical stimulation they were accustomed to in the womb. It’s important to hold and carry our babies
in arms, or in a sling, carrier, or backpack. We can trust in and respond to a baby’s need to be held.

In addition to touch, children need to eat food that is in as natural a state as possible. It seems obvious to
say that people interested in natural family living want to use foods with few additives and preservatives.

In natural family living, we want to trust in the body’s innate capacity to heal itself and see illness as a
necessary immune stimulant, not a bothersome nuisance. Accordingly, natural family living is cautious
about medical interventions. Medical circumcision, for example, is questioned because the procedure’s
claimed benefits remain unsupported by scientific evidence. Vaccinations are also questioned so that
parents can exercise informed consent. Both medical circumcision and vaccination are complex, personal
matters for which there is no single, easy answer. Here in particular we fall back on trust in the individual,
which is the foundation of natural family living. We trust both in the inherent integrity of the child’s body
and in the inherent authority of the parent to make decisions for the family.

Natural family living is about optimum survival, but it is not about making rules for proper behavior. That is
the last thing we need. Parents don’t need any more guilt or more inflated standards of perfection. This is
the beauty of natural family living, which is about falling back into ourselves and trusting our own natures
again. It is not about conforming to anything. Natural family living is about trust in the natural order of
things, trust in the innate goodness and perfectibility of people, trust that each child is following his or her
individual timetable for development.  What this means practically is: Trust your body. Trust your baby.
Trust yourself.

The ideas of natural family living have heart and meaning and are a sustainable way of caring for children.
They are not a dogma. I want to know not that you have followed my way, but that you know what your own
way is. And I hope that you will realize that the current cultural values regarding birth and parenting are
social constructions of our times. Only by reconsidering them will you have the whole picture, and only
the whole picture is good enough for your child.

Here are some of the basic ideas of natural family living, as I understand it:

  • Pregnancy and birth are normal processes that do not require drugs or interventions.
  • Breastmilk is the optimum food for humans.
  • Cosleeping helps to facilitate successful breastfeeding and bonding.
  • Mothers and babies need to be together, especially during the first three to five years of life
  • Human babies have a need to be touched and to be held in arms.
  • It is important to cultivate a community of like-minded families for friendship, information, and
    support.
  • Eat food that is in as natural a state as possible.
  • The human body has the capacity to fight off illness without the use of drugs and interventions.
  • Unstructured play is essential to the full development of the human imagination.
  • Hitting and punishment are un-necessary when children’s natural desire to cooperate is engaged to
    resolve conflicts.

Connect with your child through attachment parenting.  Help with your child's education here.

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